December 13, 2012

Uncovering The Root Of Entitlement In Your Home

I hope today’s message finds you in a really good place in your life. Ya know, we’ve been talking a lot about entitlement lately. And man, when I first encountered […]

I hope today’s message finds you in a really good place in your life. Ya know, we’ve been talking a lot about entitlement lately. And man, when I first encountered that topic years ago when I first taught Grooming the Next Generation for Success, I didn’t even know half of what I thought I knew.

See, entitlement is generally pointed toward the kids of today’s world, that they are an ‘entitled generation’.

But recently I have been so convicted in my heart, that even I have been a part of that entitlement generation. I’m not talking about when I was growing up. I’m talking about as a wife. Entitlement isn’t just in the kids today.

You have to ask yourself, "Where did the kids learn this attitude of, ‘you owe me’ or ‘I deserve that’ or ‘I want that, therefore you should give it to me’?" Where did they learn this?

I hate to say it, and I really hope you’re ready for this…

They’ve learned it from the parents. Not just from the television that we allow them to watch. It’s not just through the music they listen to or the movies they watch. They learn it through our own attitudes.

So today I have a message for both fathers & mothers, as well as husbands & wives.

There’s one area that I’ve really noticed entitlement, and it’s with the relationship between the man and the woman – especially in a situation where she is allowed to stay at home full-time to rear the children and manage the home and prepare meals, and he is working full-time, conquering the world and bringing in a paycheck. There seems to be a little bit of entitlement from the wives to the husbands, that she expects that he’s going to provide.

You really have to ask yourself, if you are a wife and your husband is providing for the family and you are home, how often do you thank him from the depths of your heart and show that gratitude and deep appreciation for all that he’s doing for his family every single day? For all that he’s putting up with every single day at work or with his business? All the stress that he endures and all the problems he has to solve? The issues that arise that take him off of a task or that derail him from reaching his goal? And what is he doing it all for?

I know, as a wife, I’ve misjudged my husband many times. I’ve said things like, ‘your work life is all about you’ and ‘how great for you, that you get to go conquer the world and I have to stay home changing diapers and doing laundry’ and ‘how awesome that you get to follow your dream, while I’m stuck here with all of these kids who are throwing up everywhere or having diarrhea or bad-mouthing or back-talking or fighting with each other, and it’s never-ending.

I remember feeling that way in my 4 years of being retired. Hans was working hard to provide for our family, and yet, I had the worst attitude about it. Not only was I not thankful and not appreciative of him, but I misjudged him.

I believe that what’s at the core of a man, the way they were wired by the Great Designer, was to work hard on behalf of his wife and his children and to provide for them. And for what? For the appreciation he would receive from her and them.

So I encourage you today to really appreciate the one who is working hard to provide for the family.

You may be saying ‘But Dani, I work too…’

Listen, I work part-time. I work 20 hours a week, and my husband works full-time running 5 companies. But that still does not change this equation!

Even if you are a woman and a contributor to the household, that very attitude of ‘Well, I’m helping to pay for things. I’m helping to pay the bills. I’m helping to move our family forward, and I’m taking care of the kids, and I’m doing the laundry, and I’m doing this, that, and the other’ is what I’m talking about! It does not give you the right to not thank the other contributor to the household. And what does that teach our children? To not appreciate the contributors of the household.

And same for you husbands. Ya know, women – especially stay-at-home mothers – are making major sacrifices. Some of those mothers’ greatest dream is to be home with the kids. But for other mothers, it’s not. It’s not what they thought it was going to be. It’s harder than they thought it was going to be. This is why a lot of women choose to go to work (and that’s another topic for another time).

But even you husbands, if you are bringing home the bacon, and the agreement is that she cooks it up, that doesn’t give the husband the right to not deeply appreciate what she is sacrificing on a daily basis to help groom the children for success, to help keep the home in order, and to prepare meals and create a home that is a sanctuary for everyone to live in.

Appreciation, thanksgiving, and gratitude does not come natural for any of us, but it is something that must be taught to our children, and something we must teach ourselves. We must make sure we keep it in the forefront of our minds, our mouths, and our hearts.

Appreciation, thanksgiving, and gratitude pulls the best out of each one of us. It pulls the best out of you, and it also keeps it in the forefront of the children’s mind, as well as your spouse.

So today, I want you to focus on really appreciating your spouse and the one who contributes to the household. Really focus on setting that example for your children.

Don’t forget, if you are not diligently grooming your children for success, you are absolutely grooming them for failure. If you haven’t read the book Grooming the Next Generation for Success or gone through the Home Study Program, DO IT! Don’t wait! Every day that slips by is another day that you could be setting your family up for greatness instead of setting them up like 98% of the population who will end up dead or dead broke by the age of 65.

Tomorrow I want to share with you a second piece to this message. It will take this idea of beating entitlement with appreciation, thanksgiving, and gratitude to a whole new level. It will change the way you work, and it will set you up for massive success in 2013.

I’m so excited to see you grasp this concept and really run with it. I’d love to hear how this message impacts you. Please let me know by leaving me a comment here on this page. I can’t wait to hear from you!

Be sure to look for my email tomorrow, where I will continue this message! And until then, God bless!

 

In great faith,

 

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