February 20, 2013

4 Simple Steps To Resolve Any Conflict

We all know what it’s like to have a conflict arise. Frequently, those conflicts are just pushed aside as we move on with our lives, but this conflict is destroying unity!

Have you ever had a disagreement with a coworker? A misunderstanding with your boss? An argument with your spouse or your kids? We’ve all been there. We all know what it’s like to have a conflict rise up in a company or a family. A lot of times, those conflicts are just pushed aside as we move on with our lives.

Sometimes these conflicts are nothing more than small, insignificant issues that are never confronted, so they just continue to build until you can’t stand it anymore. Before you know it, your blood pressure is through the roof, your patience and understanding for the other person is non-existent, and you’re stressed and frustrated, and you may not even know why…

That’s why today’s content is so important. It really has the potential to help you in every area of your life. Because here’s the reality – conflicts happen. Disagreements, misunderstandings, and arguments happen at home and in the workplace.

Conflicts can ruin relationships, break trust, cause stress, and keep you stuck in a rut. They can cause you to lose clients, lose business, or even lose your job. That’s why you must learn how to effectively confront the issues that arise in your everyday life.

What most people do is they try to hide their issues or even run from them. They avoid talking to the other person or they simply ignore the conflict and pretend it doesn’t exist. But I’m here to tell you that ignoring these things does not make them go away! Even small, insignificant conflicts can become a big hairy mess if you do not confront them and take care of it.

For a lot of people – I’d say most people, even – dealing with conflicts can be very uncomfortable. You may be one who is afraid to bring up the issue because you don’t want to step on anyone’s toes. Or maybe you’re the one who is so angry about the issue, you’re not able to sleep at night and you have this ugly, hateful anger brewing inside of you every time you think about the situation or the person. Or maybe you’re the one who simply hates confrontation, and you would much rather just let the issue go than to deal with it.

But here’s the truth about confronting conflicts: When you confront the issue, you are positioning yourself for promotion! You are setting yourself up as a true leader in your home, in your workplace, or in your community. It may not be comfortable, but it is so necessary!

That’s why I want to share a few steps that will make conflict resolution simple and really take the guesswork out of it! And the best part is, this process works with your boss, employees, co-workers, clients, business partners, friends, spouse, and kids.

First, you have to understand that you are not confronting the issue or the conflict so you can call out the other person’s faults or drag them through the mud. It’s not so you can point out all of their flaws and everything you don’t like about that person. (If that is your intention, then we need to have a little talk…)

The goal here is restoration and unity! The whole reason for confronting the issue is to clear the air, restore the relationship, and create unity with the other person who is involved.

You must realize that you have the same goals as the other person. You both want to see your team, company or family succeed. But this conflict is keeping both of you from reaching that goal. This conflict is destroying unity.

There are 4 very simple steps that I want to share with you. These are the steps that I have used when conflicts arise in my own life and in my own family. These are the steps I have taught my clients to use. And the bottom line is, these steps get results.

  1. Forgive. Before you even have the conversation where you will confront the issue, make sure your heart is clean. Make sure you are not holding onto any anger or bitterness towards the other person.
  2. Encourage. Find something you can encourage the other person about. List their strengths based on what they think they do well! For example, if you have to confront an issue at work, you would say something like, “You are an amazing and valuable asset to this company. I appreciate the way you are so dependable and you always get things done on time. Thank you for always giving it your best shot. I really appreciate that about you.”
  3. Take responsibility. Have you dishonored the person in any way? Have you judged them, falsely accused them lied to or about them, taken your anger out on them, gossiped about them? Are you harboring anger and bitterness toward them? Ask for forgiveness.
  4. Build a bridge. “I’ve noticed there has been some tension between us. I know that we both have the same goal – to see this team succeed. How can I communicate with you in a way that is effective? What can I do to help this team reach our goal? What can I do to help you? What can I do to help you and I work together better?”

Throughout this entire process, be sure to keep your goal in the forefront of your mind. Do everything in honor! Restoration and unity will eliminate stress and tension from your relationships. It will help to build trust with those around you. It will cause your influence to increase, and it will set you apart as a leader.

You and I both know how painful conflicts can be, especially when they happen between people we love and care about. I’m sure you’ve seen conflicts tear families and companies apart. You’ve heard stories from your friends, family and coworkers about issues they are dealing with right now. You’ve heard the desperation in their voices when they say, “I just don’t know what to do anymore! So-and-so is driving me crazy! I can’t stand to be around them!” You may even be in a situation like that right now.

That’s why it’s so important that you and I work together to spread today’s message. Can you imagine if everyone in your family, your office, and your community had these simple steps? Can you imagine the harmony and the peace you would experience? And when there is harmony in a home, families thrive. When there is harmony in a company, productivity and profits explode. When there is harmony, people succeed! So please share this message today. Share this post on Facebook and Twitter. Print it and hand it out to your family and co-workers, and even your clients!

And then please let me know what you thought about today’s Daily Fix. Leave your comments below. I read your comments every day, and I really love hearing what you have to say.

Thank you for being someone who is focused on making this world a better place. Thank you for using your influence to help others, to groom your family for success, and to cause your team to succeed wildly. I really appreciate you, and I’m excited to hear your success story! Until next time, God bless you!

 

In great faith,

 

Dani's signature

P.S. If you are really serious about seeing your family or company succeed, then simply hoping it will happen is not good enough. It’s time to get equipped with the skills you need to make it happen!

Join the conversation