I just had the most awesome conversation with one of my sons. Today, this email, is going to rock your world. Because I just got my world rocked by this awesome conversation.
This topic has to do with making mistakes. And how sometimes we know we made a mistake, but we get a little off track. The problem is I think us humans in the modern world have been so jacked in our mindset and culture to believe everything has to happen fast. It has to be immediate!
It’s like this, we recognize changes need to be made. And then next thing you know you are confronted with the temptation. And next thing you know you’re knee deep in everything you didn’t want to get mixed up in. And you’re so mad at yourself for not having already changed it. “It’s been 5 minutes! Why am I not perfect yet?” Why do you get so upset at yourself? You want to throw out the baby with the bath water – in other words you want to dump all the progress you made because you still aren’t perfect yet. Your actions still aren’t unblemished.
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So I was talking with my son and he says to me,” I’ve tried and I am still messing up in this area.” I asked, “In the past 10 days, how often are you failing at this?” He said, “6 days out of 10 I still fail.” I looked at him and said, “Well wait a minute, 6 out of 10 days… down from 10 out of 10 days? Hello! That is a big improvement.”
But the problem is in your brain you think you are still failing. And here’s the thing. What you sow, you are going to reap. What you think in your brain is eventually going to come to fruition. Your thoughts will eventually become an action.
So I asked if he had any success in correcting his thought process. Think of your bad habit as Narnia, or Wonderland. Even before you make the action there is the rabbit hole. There is the wardrobe, the temptation. And next thing you know you are completely in some far off land, covered in all the things you didn’t want. It’s basically the precursor to your actions, just that one thought, image, whatever.
I ask my son how often he can catch the thought before it leads to the action. And he said, with this big grin on his face about how 5 out of 10 times he can catch the thought in action and reject it completely. Basically he sees the wardrobe and just says NOPE! That is a 50% success rate in 10 days! That’s huge! And man once you have the momentum that you are making good progress, man it seems easy to crush those others day. Just focus on increasing your success rate, don’t try to be 100% perfect human person overnight. Because it won’t happen!
Some people try to stop cold turkey in their lives. Smoking, drinking, gossiping, pornography – whatever your proverbial rabbit hole is. And you know what, for some, it works. They realize in one day, “I’m a smoker, it’s killing me. I am going to stop.” And they never touch it again.
But then there are the rest of us. The reality. And for the rest of us, it doesn’t happen overnight, so we flip the desk. We beat ourselves up. Instead of looking at why it happened again and analyzing how to correct our thought process.
You have to recognize and isolate your improvements. Pat yourself on the back for that! At Creating A Dynasty we call these little improvements sprouts. It’s new growth, and only the beginning of what is to come. But new sprouts need to be nurtured and protected. That sprout is the beginnings of new fruit to come in your life. If you want to reap the benefits of that seed – don’t give up on it because it has only grown so little in such a short time.
Celebrate the good! Verbalize it, put it on Facebook or just tell your friends. It’s a big deal. Even if you mess up again, don’t beat yourself up and give in. Track your progress and you will win. You will never be perfect, so cut yourself a little slack. You actions will follow what you are focused on. If you focus on the bad, you will get more bad! Focus on the good!
Listen, please share this with your children, spouse, friends and family! Your e-mail is open already, send this to people! They need to hear this wisdom, and wrap their minds around tracking progress. Let it be a discussion at dinner tonight. If you enjoyed or learned something from this message, SHARE IT! And leave me a comment please.
I hope you are showing the ones you care about true appreciation today! And until next time, God bless!
In great faith,






Thanks Dani, This is a wonderful way to look at little setbacks to the progress we make. I am going to post your e-mail on my fb page.
I love your emails. They are so inspiring, and always a gentle reminder to do better. Thanks!
Dani,
Thanks for the email!!! Focus on the sprouts to stay encouraged. We’re never going to be perfect so we can either be imperfect and focused positively or imperfect and stuck in a pile of poo!! Easy choice. Thanks, Coach!!
~
This is exactly how I quite smoking cigarettes decades ago. I was terrified at the thought of quitting pack a day habit . . . but then I realized I had to quit only ONE cigarette; the next one! And every time I desired a cigarette, I told myself I could quit ONE. . . . and I felt so victorious over that one and knew I would succeed. And indeed I did. . . . for decades!
Stop the stinking thinking and celebrate the victories, no matter how small they may seem.
I have improved by reading your articles, my focus has changed for good I can do something and get money.God bless.
Timothy congrats and best wishes. You can do it
Dani,
Another great email. I always remember the saying. Im not perfect but God is not finished with me yet! I have passed on your info to several people I am inviting on my team. Whether they join my team or not I hope they will benefit from your God given wisdom and that by doing so it will bring them closer to Him! Would LOVE for you to bring an event to Las Vegas! Hope to see you soon!
Dani, Thanks so much for this email and information, I was in a relationship with a person that had an addiction situation and it was hard for him to see any accomplishment in his trying to quit. I kept saying every step toward your goal is worthy of celebration but keep going. Its too easy for people to give up, our thinking has so much control over us if we succeed or fail. Thank God there is Grace and Mercy for us to keep trying and we will get there if we don’t quit. know you are Loved today for your reaching out to share.
Hi Dani,
Perfect thing for me to read today and PASS ON to my husband and son. My teen was late for school todayl…again…but the issue and yelling around it was CRAZY this morning! If I look back over the year he has made improvements then slips back then makes improvements…so, this is pointing out the need to stay focused on the positive. Thanks, printing and discussing TONIGHT!
Brigid
Thank You, so very much Dani for sending this out. I have never been able to live a minute without sodas. This was passed on from my mother and that has been a major cause of me use to being 105 lbs and now 170 lbs at 5 ft 3 in tall. A month ago I decided that the only way I was ever going to get healthy an lose this weight was to never buy them again. I use to keep multiple 12 pks in the fridge and would always drink them for water. Like I said, it has been a month since I bought my last 12 pk and now I am drinking tea, water or lemonade at home. I still am having one here and there if I go out to eat, but not always even then. Some days I will go a day or two without any, but I will never have them on hand where I can grab one out of the fridge again. Now it has just become a habit to not even go down that isle at the store and I bought a fountain coke yesterday when I went out to eat and I ended up throwing out about 1/2 of it because I just couldn’t drink it all. I have taken a 90 day challenge with our company to lose weight and get healthy and I was starting to give up because I thought I would never be able to break this habit. I was trying to go cold turkey and being angry with myself because I couldn’t do it.
Dani, what you said today reminded me of a book I read by William Bachus ( I think that’s his name) called “As a man thinketh”.
In the book he says that how you think about yourself determines how your going to act.
I tried to put this into practice and whenever I started going down that “rabbit hole” sometimes I just had to say “stop!” out loud. People around me thought I was crazy, but it worked.
Thank you, Dani, for this reminder! I too tend to expect better (read: excellent/perfect) results, as I attempt to sow seeds of peace and long-suffering into the trying situations that come up daily. It is disappointing not to see the fruit in my life. However, rather than concentrating on that, I’m learning to “let go – and let God”…. Where I cannot, He is able. PTL!
Awsome! Your thoughts are seeds! That was a great new approach to renewing my mind. Thank you Dani für sharing this.
A great post!
Hi Dani thanks for a fabulous article, so much ENCOURAGEMENT.
just over 4 years ago 4th December 2008 to be precise. On the eve of Creating Dynasty Atlanta God delivered me from over a 30 year 40 per day smoking habit. Doctors, medication and therapy all failed. But nothing is impossible for God!! Thank you Dani, DJC team and clients because I am sure God used spending 3 whole days afterwards in such an amazing encouraging, positive and loving atmosphere with His chosen people,kept the spirit of addiction away from me. You are all awesome and so looking forward to seeing you in London. Love always Debbie
Great article. Good encouragement it helps me. I have been working on changing my self defeating thoughts and i have a “all or nothing” attitude when I start to see that i am slipping into the rabbit hole. “just focus on increasing my success rate” great strategy!
Thank you Dani; That is the truth and we as a family are learning to walk in that. Blessings to you and Hans and your family.
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