March 21, 2013
Sometimes It Is All About You
Have you noticed that people who think they have fantastic people skills often are, in reality, terrible with people? It’s funny because when you think you know everything, you will […]
Have you noticed that people who think they have fantastic people skills often are, in reality, terrible with people? It’s funny because when you think you know everything, you will never learn anything.
What I want to talk about real quick today is a really simple skill to help you grow your people skills. It’s truly amazing to see all of the people who are stepping up into leadership roles, getting out of debt, losing weight, and accumulating wealth. It is such blessing to witness and be a part of that kind of change in people’s lives.
But what tends to happen is those very people come to me and they often say, "Man Dani, thank you so much for everything, but how do I get my spouse to get off their butt and eat better? How do I get my friends motivated to start their own business?"
People Do Things For Their Own Reasons
People do things for their reasons and not ours. Another way to say it is: Other people see things, respond, and react in different ways. If you want to learn to quickly indentify a personality type and how to speak their language, here’s how.
And it’s true, some people will stay stuck in their rut. You have to realize some people LIKE their rut. I allowed myself to be homeless for 30 days before I got my own butt in gear. Sometimes people just aren’t ready yet. Or it’s just that they have settled into what they think is their lot in life, and they may complain about it, but in the end they are content blaming everyone else for their circumstances.
I know I’ve said it before, you can’t change people! But if you read these letters or listen to any of my Strategy Calls, and you are only thinking of other people – you’ve got it backwards! Instead of always thinking who else could use this information, start thinking how YOU can use it in YOUR life.
If you took all that time and energy on something that actually gave you results instead of trying to convince, fight, or nag people into getting motivated, you would be that much more successful in life. Not to mention, you will be less stressed out. Your relationships would have so much less tension.
And here is one thing you could be spending that extra time on… Next time you are with someone, try listening to them. REALLY listen – instead of trying to shove your dreams and motivations and what you think would be great for THEIR life down their throat. This skill is something we teach as part of GEMS™, but what you are listening for is a person’s strengths, interests, goals, and needs. (There are many more components to this skill set, so if you’re serious about really sharpening your people skills, I highly recommend you go ahead and get your copy of GEMS™ right now.)
This information acts as little clues to what truly motivates an individual – and it will be different for everyone!
So please, please, stop stressing yourself out trying to change people and start encouraging people where they are at. Love them for their motivations and encourage those goals, not your personal ones. Also, make sure you like and comment on this post and share how these skills have been helping you!
I hope to be seeing you this weekend in Orlando! God bless you.
In great faith,
P.S. If you want a more in-depth study that will help you to better your people skills, be sure to read up on our GEMS™ Mastery Program.