February 21, 2013

What Is A "Real Man" In Today’s World?

One thing that lays heavy on my mind today is a message for you men out there. But it’s also a message for you women who have important men in […]

One thing that lays heavy on my mind today is a message for you men out there. But it’s also a message for you women who have important men in your life, whether he’s your husband, your children, your father, your friends, or even your co-workers.

In my past, I was a total man-hater. I had grown up with an extremely abusive man who I thought was my father. He was 6’10", 350 pounds, and he abused me verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually. I found out when I was almost 18 that he was not even my father. I was betrayed by my first love. And then after all that, I married a man I had only known for a week, who ended up abandoning me and left me homeless with $2.03 to my name.

I had grown to hate men and blame them for my lot in life. When I met Hans, (my current husband whom I have been married to for going on 20 years) I never thought my past would affect our marriage. When we were dating and living together, things were great. I respected him and loved him.

But then when we got married it was like this switch got flipped. Suddenly, something changed in me. I so desperately wanted him to protect me and provide for me. I wanted him to be a real man, a real husband, and a real father to my little girl. I was looking for a leader, but all of a sudden, Hans couldn’t live up to my expectations. I degraded him and emasculated him daily. Why couldn’t he just be a man?

I was a woman who put down my husband and destroyed his manhood. I cut him down daily. I wrote him scathing letters about how I despised him and what a worthless piece of crap he was. And then he would go work out 5 nights a week and never want to be around me. Can you blame him?

The reason I’m telling you all this today is because we live in a very confused culture. We have women who are doing things to emasculate men, some without even realizing it. And then we have men who have no idea what their role is in the home, the workplace, and in society. But what else would you expect?

Our society has such a messed up, pathetic, skewed concept of what a man is supposed to be. We have torn men down and have raised women up to a position where they are expected to carry things they were never meant to carry.

I think we’re in big trouble today because we started out, however many generations ago, when women decided to burn their bras and prove they’re just as strong and as smart as men. Was that really a good idea? Just look at the outcome! Most of us do not realize the impact it has had on us…

It has impacted business, finances, and marriages. In fact, a lot of people aren’t even getting married today! A lot of women have this idea of, "I don’t need a man. I can just go to a sperm bank and get what I need."

So many of us have gotten caught up in the idea that we are all equal, but the truth is men and women are very different. We think different. We react different. We have different roles in family, work, and society.

Looking back through human history, men have always responded to one thing. And that was the call to battle. The men would fight to protect the honor and safety of their families, their loved ones, and their values. And I don’t just mean physical battles. Even starting a new business is a battle in today’s society. Being a leader is a real battle.

Unfortunately, men today certainly aren’t getting any encouragement from society to step into these roles. There is no call to battle. But it was only when I started treating Hans like the man I wanted him to be that I saw him step up and become that man. When I encouraged him, he answered the call.

Last year on one of my nationally syndicated radio shows, I had my husband come on to talk about this topic a little bit. Right there, live on air, I asked him what I do that makes him really feel like a man. His answer amazed me. He said, "There is nothing more powerful than positive reinforcement. And on the flip side, there is nothing more destructive than negative reinforcement. When you made that change in our relationship, it really started to plant seeds in me that helped me realize that I really could be who I needed to be for you. It has been a really amazing journey."

Here’s the bottom line: If you want to start seeing changes, it must start in your own home. Are you encouraging your brother, father, spouse? Are you grooming your sons to become real men? Do you build up your male friends and co-workers?

The world today is a battlefield, and there is a real need for strong men to rise up and take their place in business, in the home, and in their relationships. It is time for the men in today’s world to get equipped to become real leaders.

So it is up to you and me to get this message out there. Please join me in sharing this message with every man and woman you know. Share this post on Facebook and Twitter. It’s time to start grooming people up to be the leaders they were born to be!

After you share this message, please leave me a comment. I really would love to know what you think about today’s Daily Fix. This is a topic that is so important to me because I’ve seen how it has affected my own life, and the lives of so many others around me. So I would love to hear what impact this has had on you – I want to hear from the men AND women today!

Have an awesome Thursday, and until next time, God bless!

 

In great faith,

 

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