I thought about you after I had a conversation with someone last week. I want to share that conversation with you today because I know you will benefit greatly from it.
Last Wednesday night, I had a discussion with Rayven, who is an amazing and fun young lady that I get to work with every day. She helps me with our social media, and I’m sure you’ve seen her or talked with her on our Facebook page. (If you haven’t joined us on Facebook yet, go on over there and meet this community of awesome, supportive people who are dedicated to moving their lives forward.)
So during this conversation, Rayven said to me, "Dani, I just don’t know what to do. I am so stressed out about this goal I have. I want to pay off $5,000 by March, and then I’ll be totally debt free." (She has already paid off almost $18,000 in the last 9 months…)
I asked why that goal stresses her out, and she told me, "Because I’ve crunched the numbers, and it’s virtually impossible. I’ve already cut everything down and I’m trying really hard to make it happen. I’ve sold everything I can. Should I get a part-time job? Or should I start a business on the side?"
I then replied, "Well, why don’t you move the date? Why do you have such a tight deadline?" Rayven said, "I feel like it won’t be a good story unless I do it that fast."
So to clarify, I asked, "So basically you’re telling me that you’ve set a goal that is stressing you out just so you can have a big story to tell?"
You should have seen her…
Her head shrunk down into her shoulders and she got this sheepish look on her face as I asked her, "So if it takes you 18 months to pay off all of your debt, that will not be a good story?"
Rayven’s answer was this: "Well, no. Because So-and-So paid off half a million dollars of debt in 18 months!"
I said, "Girlfriend, pull out your measuring stick you’re using to measure your goal! I’m going to break it over your head!!!"
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Because here’s the thing: You have to look at the motives for your goal. If your motive is to impress other people, you’ve got the wrong goal. And what kind of measuring stick are you using to determine whether or not what you’re doing is impressive?
Rayven’s measuring stick was comparing her goal to someone else who had paid off half a million dollars of debt in 18 months. But the reality is, they sold a house in order to pay off that debt. Rayven doesn’t have a house to sell. And all she has left is part of her student loan, and then she will be completely debt free! But she was using a completely unrealistic measuring stick and trying to get a big WOW story to impress other people instead of just focusing on paying off her debt.
If paying off all your debt and being debt free within 18 months is not impressive to you, I guarantee it’s because you are trying to compete against someone else’s story.
Don’t compete with anyone else! Set a goal and give yourself a timeline that you know you can accomplish. Don’t stress yourself out. Work a simple formula to get it done, and then – BAM – you will achieve it!
What are your goals? Do you have any adjusting to do? Have you ever stressed yourself out over a goal? I want to hear your stories! Please scroll down to leave me your comments.
And if this message has impacted you in any way, go ahead and share it with anyone you think may benefit from it.
That’s it for me. Have an awesome day, and we’ll talk soon! God bless!
In great faith,
Im a spanish writer and there is one of the big bilingue school in Dominican Republic, from where Im. they were rushing me to finish my first book so they can buy my book to use for students project for january. I was very stress out for that cause, so I got very sick and in the time i was in bed nothing I cant do about it. So that made me realize that you have to do thing the way you do best other way, you creativity will be block if you acept pression from out sider.eving if they promise you the best busines.every thing has it´s time under the sun.
So true, Ramia! Stress definitely BLOCKS creativity. I’m glad you made this realization.
Wow…
First I have to ask God to forgive me. My first Dani Johnson even was in September 2012 in St Louis. First I was so concerned about not having the same dynamic story of someone else. Then I worked myself without purpose and direction in to burnout becuase I was trying so hard to prove that I had something that was my own. It seems so immature of me to miss the fact that I am blessed to be separated from the military after serving 5 years with my health, good husband, and just moved to a Fort Worth where doors are opening for us to be able to really leave a legacy. I allowed the lack of faith and humility to distract me from focusing on following directions. Making wrong decisions becuase I was trying to do it all myself for a story. How selfish is that to try to create my own glory when I had all the access to the right information. Basically, my worse partner/supporter was me. I ran my mind crazy trying to budget 5 or 6 times a day then get frustrated by not “having enough”. But my bills were paid. I do have debt but I didn’t considered it an issue. I jus wanted it to all happen over night. In 8 weeks so I could tell my story.
All I did was run myself into a state of blah where I still didn’t see results.
Unacceptable. I asked for forgiveness and I forgive myself.
Thank you for this. I needed the reality check.
WOW!!! Thank you so much for sharing your story, Katrina! Isn’t is so funny that our own worse criticizers are ourselves? I’m happy that Dani’s story has helped put things into perspective for you! And I know that all has been forgiven. Girl, everyday that you keep moving toward your goals + living your life by DESIGN is a story worth sharing with others. Thank you for being here!
Thank you for sharing this and how the person paid off such a big debt. I know people can’t or won’t share the method in which they demolish their debt, but without the whole story others are apt to set those unrealistic goals. Then when they don’t meet their goal the begin thinking thinking, well if God blest so and so in such a great way why isn’t he blessing me when He really is blessing them but in ways appropriate for their situation.
I was in a very stressful place working my offline marketing job. It just wasn’t right for me AT THIS TIME, because I have a lot on my plate. Even though I learned a lot during the short 2-3 weeks I was there, especially in regards to talking to people face to face, I didn’t set a realistic goal going through the training program. Here I am, juggling a start up business of my own that takes at least 10 hrs. out of my day plus two media outlets and a health business as well that I didn’t even have time for (to begin with), and I took on this offline marketing job with full force boot camp “like” training. I really wish it would have worked out, but I hear that successful people “don’t wish”. They make it happen. Unfortunately, my goals going into it just weren’t realistic and I ended up losing sleep, getting sick, etc. etc. just because I was so stressed out. The job is gone now however I will carry with me the AWESOME skills I learned as well as a valuable lesson about having a clear definitive purpose and not diversifying too much time.
My goals are to become a Diamond Coach in my business by the end of the year. This is a realistic time frame the only problem I have is overcoming my shyness or insecurities. I guess the thought of rejection is what holds me back from going full force in my business and worrying to much about what others think about it. I will say that I have progresses in this way of thinking since investing in personal development and taking each step slowly. It is important for me to reach this goal because then I would free up so much time I spend working overtime at work to pay off my student loans. I will be able to run my business from home and spend more time with my son.