Have you ever had a miscommunication or conflict arise suddenly that ended up ruining your whole day? You have a spat at home before you leave for work or your coworkers or employees are just not listening… and you’re frustrated. It’s the worst when you have unresolved conflicts as you’re leaving home, right?

Not just because it ruins your day, but it takes time away from your productivity. It makes it hard to focus and ultimately the quality of your work suffers. And that stress sucks!

On the flip-side, if the conflict is at work, you take it home with you and it affects your relationships with your family and friends! I’m getting frustrated just thinking about it. Because now that conflict is stealing your focus away from this time with your kids or your spouse.

I want to take the time today to help you stop these conflicts from happening or to move on from them quickly. This skill set is so helpful in your everyday life because not only does it lower your stress, but it frees up time to devote to more productive or fun activities in your life.

The first thing you have to realize is, you can’t change anyone. People are who they are and each personality is different. You can’t make mean people be nice, force someone to follow directions or listen to you. Ultimately, the only thing you can control is your interactions with others.

The quickest, easiest way to deal with other people in your day-to-day life is to control how you react to them. There are a million excuses why people act the way they do, but whatever it is, the reason is usually NOT you.

What has conflict ever done for you? Chances are it stressed you out, stole your time and damaged your relationships. Positives? Few, if any. So, here are two ways to solve issues quickly or just steer clear of them completely:

1. If it’s someone who tends to be rude, mean or generally negative – then just don’t engage. You don’t need to accept that offense or negativity in your life. The best step is to forgive and move on! Easier said than done, but the pay out is so WORTH it! Offense is not.
2. Confront a miscommunications immediately. Especially if someone seems to be speaking to a specific situation start with, “If I have done something to cause ___, I’d like to resolve that. I’m really sorry for ___.” Clear the air, respectfully and move on. Don’t let a miscommunication or offense fester. Remember: encourage the other person, address the conflict, end on encouragement.
3. Figure out what motivates the people around you. If you’re the type of person who values punctuality, wouldn’t it drive you nuts if the people in your life didn’t share that value and showed up late constantly? Understanding what honors another person and how they like to be spoken to, can help you communicate effectively and stop conflict right in its tracks!

Sometimes you frustrate the people around you without even realizing it! And vice versa! It all has to do with our needs, values and motivations. If you figure out theirs, you can help steer away from or apologize upfront for things you know frustrate them.

What you focus on you will get good at. If you’re wasting your day with conflicts and the stress it causes you, that means it is stealing time from productive work and happiness. Instead of trying to change people to match you (which we know is impossible!), identify their motivations and needs.

Leave me your comments below and Like and Share this message with your friends and family. Let’s spread a more peaceful, respectful environment.

I can’t wait to talk with you later today. Grab your pen and notebook and be prepared to take notes! Join us at 12 pm ET/11 am CT for The Dani Johnson Show. You can tune into the show on either your TV or radio and please remember you can always stream today’s show right on our website.

In great faith,

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