January 23, 2014

Fathers Should Be More Than Sperm Donors

How close are you with your father? Did you know that 1 in 3 kids in America is without a father. Our society has portrayed fathers as an unneeded accessory […]


How close are you with your father? Did you know that 1 in 3 kids in America is without a father. Our society has portrayed fathers as an unneeded accessory for child-rearing. That totally breaks my heart. We joke that they’re “sperm donors,” “just another mouth to feed,” “don’t need ’em.”

Recently there was a viral photo of a man, Doyin Richards, brushing his daughter’s hair. And he has his infant daughter strapped to his chest in a baby carrier.

That is crazy that a man taking care of his own kids went VIRAL. Since the photo hit social media Doyin Richards has appeared on the Katie Couric Show, Good Morning, America and received tons of comments (both positive and negative) on his blog. Richards says he doesn’t see why it’s a big deal. “I don’t want to come off as, ‘Oh, look at me multi-tasking.’ I mean, this is something that a dad is supposed to do. I don’t need a reward for it.”

I grew up with a man who abused me. He was a 6-foot, 10-inch tall man who weighed 350 pounds. He was as violent as his size was intimidating. And throughout all the emotional, physical and sexual abuse, I thought this man was my father! I remember talking to my aunt when I was almost 18 and I told her, “The only reason I have any love for this man is because he is blood.” And she looked at me and said, “Well… IS he?” Turns out he, in fact, was not.

I didn’t talk to him for 6 years after that (that was how long it took me to forgive him). I grew up never hearing an encouraging word from a man who turned out to be my stepfather. In fact, the first person to ever speak life into me was a person I’d just met when I started getting into business. And those words, from a virtual stranger, changed my world! Because it was the first time I’d ever heard a positive message.

Whether you realize it or not, father figures have a huge impact on a child’s mental and social health. Can you imagine how I would’ve grown up if I had a father who encouraged me? All I can say is, if you’re a father, you are absolutely needed! If you’re a mother, when was the last time you told your husband he’s a good father? Maybe you have a measuring stick that your man needs to be god-like in order to be up to snuff.

You’ll never be perfect. Your father, husband or wife will also never be perfect. The mistakes fathers make are because of what they were taught. And our society currently is teaching our men a standard of fatherhood that is so out of whack! They either have to be Superman-perfect or they’re portrayed as lazy video-game-addicted slobs.

What we have done to the image of fathers in this nation is sad. They are more than just sperm donors. Having a great father can make all the difference in the world. And you don’t have to be a perfect father to have a huge impact.

Today, throw out the measuring stick. Instead of always focusing on and pointing out faults, start celebrating the things your father or spouse did right! Did this message encourage you today? Or maybe it reminded you to grab your phone and send out a text or make a phone call? Let me know! Leave me your comments here and be sure to Like and Share today’s message. Help me change the image our society has created for men and bring back the idea of fathers.

Join us this week on Sunday night for The Dani Johnson Show. I am so excited to visit with you again and can’t wait to hear your thoughts on our topic this week — it’s going to be great! So make sure to tune in at 9 pm ET/8 pm CT.


In great faith,


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