How does it feel when someone you love hurts you? What I want to discuss with you today is that hurt is a choice, being offended is a choice!
Offense is something presented to you and me all the time. There are always opportunities where you can be hurt or take something in the wrong context. There is always a chance to get upset and think, “Man, I CAN’T believe she would say that!”
I want to share an example of this very topic real quickly. Last week on my radio show a woman, Hilary, called in to ask me how to deal with a certain offense. In this instance, she was concerned because her family joined a church and every time the church invited them to events they had to turn them down because of their financial status.
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It lead to the pastor making a comment from the pulpit, calling them out. In this situation there were two opportunities for offense.
- In the first one, the pastor and maybe other members of the congregation were offended when Hilary and her family rejected their invitations. They didn’t know the circumstances!
- After hearing the comment from the pulpit, Hilary and her family were hurt!
Why is it that in our safest places, your church, your family or with your friends, you still see such deep pain? It comes from a whole laundry list of sources. But the truth is, there are just so many more opportunities to open yourself up to that hurt. For example, with Hilary these opportunities for hurt arose because of the pastor’s sheer lack of knowledge.
It is most difficult to deal with these types of hurt because you have a certain expectation! Aren’t these the people who should have your back? Aren’t these the people who should know better?
The short answer, is everyone makes mistakes. In Hilary’s situation simply sitting down with the minister and confronting the issue would solve the entire problem! Just go in and start with, “Pastor ___, I love and respect you. I heard a comment the other day and I want to make sure my family hasn’t offended you in any way…”
In fact, that script could help you start a respectful conversation to clear up a TON of situations. You might want to write that down and keep it handy. You see, if you don’t confront issues like this, they don’t just go away. In fact they pave the way for MORE opportunities for offense. Then, before you know it, the relationship is so full of bitterness, everything that other person does presents an opportunity for offense.
And you don’t need to hold onto that! This pastor chose to take offense because of his past issues. It had nothing to do with Hilary and her family. He just assumed it was a personal rejection. I don’t mean to call out a specific man here, the truth is you, me, Hilary… ALL do this same thing! You fall victim to opportunities for offense.
The only way to work past it, is to choose to forgive and choose to not take offense. Forgive people every day, even for little stuff. If you do not, those past issues will follow you and tweak your perception of reality, just like it did with Hilary and her pastor. Choose to not take offense! In 99 times out of 100, it has nothing to do with you directly.
I hope this helps you identify and work past obstacles in your life. Leave me your comments and please Share and Like today’s post with your friends and family. Let’s start choosing love and forgiveness, and not to take offense with one another.
What are you up to later? I’d love for you to join us today at 12:00 pm ET/11:00 am CT during The Dani Johnson Show for more tips, strategies and skill sets to improve your everyday life. You can find the show on your TV and radio and please remember you can always stream today’s show right on our website.
In great faith,
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