Have you been hurt before? Oh man, we’ve all been there! Abuse, abandonment, betrayal and disappointment are no fun. But nobody is perfect and eventually, hurt happens. A few weeks ago, I talked with Lori Meyerson, a single mother held captive by the devastating pain of her divorce.
It’s especially tricky and painful when so much pain comes from your partner. But, even though they are divorced, Lori and her ex-husband are still co-parents; they are still supposed to be on the same side, the same team. But their relationship wasn’t exactly functional. “There was a lot of blame, abuse – verbal – on both sides. We couldn’t communicate, didn’t understand each other. There was a lot of pain and things built up.”
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You see, it’s never the circumstances determining your success in life, in business or in your family. It’s how you choose to deal with those circumstances that makes all the difference. Lori could have continued to blame her ex-husband for the rest of her life. But she did what most people can’t, she chose to forgive!
“I had to recognize my part in it. It was a two-way street and I had to forgive both myself and him. I had to apologize and also had to ask God for forgiveness! It was huge! After that our relationship took a whole 180-degree turn.”
And sure, forgiveness may seem like a great idea. But the reality is, most people never activate it. It’s easy to talk about, but actually doing it can be a whole different story. When I asked Lori how difficult it was to forgive her ex-husband, she told me, “It took swallowing my pride, but once I made the phone call it was easy to say the words. But I truly felt it in my heart and I think that was the key. He was waiting for me to make the first move. It set me free to move on and close that chapter in my life.”
Unforgiveness will keep you in bondage. It will keep you from taking risks. It will limit your earning power. It will keep you stuck in a rut for the rest of your life. My friend, unforgiveness will rob you of your destiny.
“As a parent, you have to put your child first. They look up to you; they didn’t ask to be put in this situation. Try to take yourself out of that situation and look at it objectively from your child’s perspective. Sometimes we need to get our own ego out of the way.
“Whether they forgive you or not, it will set YOU free from the situation. It really is like someone takes the chains off your wrists and you’re free.”
Lori made the hard choice to humble herself and take the first step. For the sake of her own happiness and for the sake of her daughter, who was stuck in the middle of a verbally abusive relationship between her parents.
Forgiveness seems like the most difficult thing in the world, especially when you don’t want to make the first move. But it can only work to your benefit!
Are you stuck in the pit of your past? Escape today and seek new solutions, seek freedom from that bondage! Tell me your escape stories in the comments below and pass today’s message of inspiration on to others who may be trapped. There are so many single parents out there who cope with this situation and could use the encouragement from someone who has been through what they’re going through! Hit Like and Share to get the word out.
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In great faith,
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