Why Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Have you ever noticed that people often say things to impress you, but then they don’t follow through? I experienced this in a meeting recently. I heard the words, "Wow […]
Have you ever felt like you and your spouse just aren’t on the same page? The reality is, you and your spouse won’t always be on the same page. But you’re still on the same team. Especially when it comes to money!
Have you ever felt like you and your spouse just aren’t on the same page? You want to pay off debt, live within your means and start putting money into savings. Yet, they spend like crazy and simply don’t have the same financial vision you do? According to a study done by Smart Money magazine and Redbook, 70 percent of couples talk about money at least once a week. They fight mostly about debt, then spending habits and about saving money for retirement.
It can be frustrating and it can even be hurtful! Just last week I spoke to an amazingly honorable man, Derek Hollinshead, who lived this exact problem. For the first 7 years of his marriage, he and his wife were not on the same page financially.
They had hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt and Derek was looking forward to getting out from under it. After speaking with his wife, she agreed with him. And then she would go gamble hundreds of dollars away.
If you’ve experienced this, you know the frustration Derek felt! “It was very frustrating, like pushing a giant rock uphill, only to have it fall back on you.”
Most people would probably be harsh, feel disrespected, resentful or lash out at their spouse. But the truth is, that type of reaction doesn’t help the situation! But that’s not how Derek reacted: “From time to time, we would have a talk about it and I would really try to communicate my frustration with it, but try to be merciful because she’s my partner, you know. If she falls down I need to pick her up as best I can.”
It took awhile, but Derek’s wife finally did come around. What changed? “The first part was every time we talked about it something finally started clicking with her about how much it was hurting me and she realized how I was trying to be patient with her.” The second part followed her coming to First Steps To Success, where she found a direct plan to get out of debt and felt convicted to get on the same page as her husband!
Since then, Derek and his wife have paid off $165K of debt over the past 34 months! “It truly is amazing and just feels like we’re on the same page. We’re still on a journey to paying off the rest of our debt and I make mistakes here and there, too. But at least now we’re facing the battle together.”
When I asked Derek what advice he might give to someone in a similar situation he told me, “I’ve actually had this kind of conversation before. The first thing to remember is that you and your spouse are a team, so lashing out at them is not going to help the team. Being patient through it all, until they get it, will be difficult and will be frustrating, but it’s important to stay the course.”
The reality is, you and your spouse won’t always be on the same page. But you’re still on the same team. Especially when it comes to money… the number one thing couples fight about. Having patience, even when your spouse is dishonoring you, is important! Because we all fail, we all mess up or need a hand.
If you are on a journey to become debt-free, I just wanted to send this story of encouragement that shows staying the course will pay off in the end! And having a foolproof plan to do it can make it easier on you! If you’re paying off debt or have ever experienced frustrations with your spouse not being on the same page, I hope this touched and inspired you, like it does me. Leave me your comments below and make sure to share today’s word of encouragement.
If you’re looking for more financial wisdom, tips and strategies, be sure to join us for The Dani Johnson Show where you can hear more amazing stories like this that will help improve your everyday life. You can find the show on your TV and radio and please remember you can always stream today’s show right here on our website.
In great faith,
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