A Word Of Encouragement From One Parent To Another
You may or may not know this, but outside of being a businesswoman, an author, a speaker, and a nationally syndicated radio talk show host, I am a wife and […]
Even if you don’t gamble, you probably know what having a “poker face” means…and no matter what you do or who you do it with, mastering this particular ability can pay-off BIG in every area of your life!
No matter where you go, what you do, or who you do it with, your ability to master one key ability will follow you. Once you grasp this skill, you will be positioned for amazing things – in business, marketing, presentations, interviews or meetings. And if not, it will negatively impact every area of your life: business, career, family, relationships, finances. (So, you’ll greatly benefit by paying attention and applying this today!)
You may have heard the phrase, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.” And it’s sooo true, because 93% of all communication is non-verbal!
You see, you can say one thing, but your body language, posture and your face could be saying something totally different.
Let’s try something right now, just as an experiment. You may feel silly, but do it anyway! Sit back in your chair, cross your arms, furrow your eyebrows and frown. Now, without changing your posture or your facial expression, say, “This is going to be a great day.”
If someone said those words to you, with the non-verbal language you just demonstrated, you’d have a hard time believing what they said, wouldn’t you? It’s quite clear they don’t mean what they’re saying. How can you tell? Their verbal communication does not match their non-verbal.
Here’s a great example: Brent is a DaniJohnson.com client from Utah. When Brent first came to me, he was really struggling in his business. He said he had been using all the product marketing scripts I had given him, but he was still struggling.
After talking with him, I discovered the problem. It wasn’t the scripts; it was his non-verbal communication! He was saying all the right words, yet there was an undertone of fear and uncertainty. His prospects did not hear the words he said; they only heard his tone of voice when he said the words. He was communicating fear and uncertainty… and NOBODY needs more of that! No wonder he was not getting the kind of results he wanted!
The good news is, after learning a few key skills at First Steps To Success, Brent not only corrected his non-verbal communication, but has now become outrageously successful in business and paid off more than 2 million dollars of debt.
Because 93% of communication is non-verbal, people hear the undertones in your voice – the fear, anxiety, uncertainty, anger, resentment, unbelief, insincerity. Even when you read the right script or say the right words, the other person doesn’t hear what you say because of how you say it!
One of the best examples of non-verbal communication that comes to mind, are anti-depressant commercials. You have seen them, I’m sure. In the first scene a woman is sitting on the couch, clearly full of despair. She looks anxious, stressed, worried and hopeless. You can clearly see it without her saying a word. In the very next scene, as they’re selling you the relief this anti-depressant drug promises, you see the same woman smiling at her husband and her family. She is full of hope and happier than ever.
As you’re watching the happy family on your screen, you hear the upbeat voice of the narrator telling you about the side effects of the drug, including things like diarrhea, low sex drive, even death. But because the non-verbal communication shows the woman smiling, and the tone of voice is happy and upbeat, you don’t even comprehend the scary, dangerous side effects! All you can think is, “Man, if I swallow these pills, I’m going to be happy! I don’t care if I have diarrhea, abdominal cramping, low sex drive or sleepless nights! I’m going to be happy like that woman!”
I know you’re probably thinking this seems extreme. But it’s the truth! This is the real deal, and it has a HUGE impact in your everyday life. It’s not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it!
Say you were interviewing me for a job, and I sat there with my arms crossed, shoulders slouched and a frown (or even an indifferent expression) on my face, what would that say about me as a prospective employee? Does it show I’m serious about that job? Does it look like I’m interested in what you have to say? Does it cause you to believe I will be a good employee, should you hire me? Absolutely not!
It says I’m uninterested, I don’t care what you have to say, and it’s an inconvenience to even be there right now. And that is NOT how you get a job!
The same is true for a presentation, a meeting, phone calls, and even your relationships.
Today, really focus on your non-verbal communication. Are you smiling? What is your posture? Your tone of voice? Your body language? What is your non-verbal communication saying?
When you catch yourself crossing your arms, frowning or speaking with timidity instead of confidence, it just takes a small change. Uncross your arms, sit up straight, smile and be sure your tone of voice matches your words. It will make a world of difference!
I would love to know what you think about today’s message. What is your experience with non-verbal communication? Have you experienced the effects of someone’s negative non-verbal communication? What about your own? I can’t wait to read your comments!
Don’t forget to join me today for The Dani Johnson Show, when we share even more strategies to help you take all your skills to the next level! You can tune in on your TV and radio or you can always stream today’s show right here on our website.
In great faith,
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