One topic keeps coming up lately, in fact I’ve encountered it so frequently, I felt compelled to write you about it. I’ve seen it in business consulting and even my one-on-one coaching appointments. Let me explain…
A lot of people out there come from broken homes. They’ve been abandoned, adopted or encountered people who made promises, then didn’t keep them. And they all share one thing: rejection. Some people – actually, most people – still carry that rejection! Even decades later, their PAST rejection affects their lives NOW… and they’re spreading it, like a rampant disease. And it will destroy you!
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Carrying around rejection, or simply harboring a fear of rejection, is like pressing the self-destruct button on your relationships, business partners, and even, finances. By carrying rejection, you actually SEE circumstances in a very skewed way. Depending on your personality, it plays out in a couple of different ways. See if any of these scenarios sound familiar:
- This type of rejection-carrier is looking for proof. They walk into a room looking for rejection! They will actually seek proof everyone is against them or somehow out to get them. Here’s a great example: Imagine you’re in a conversation with a couple of people, discussing a totally non-threatening, casual topic. A person who carries rejection might perceive this topic as verbally threatening or feel as if they’re being attacked… even though the conversation isn’t about them! This same person will also walk into a room and if someone doesn’t immediately smile at them or say “Hi!” they think, “Oh, she doesn’t like me”… “He’s always been against me” or “I must’ve done something wrong.” They actually twisted reality to FIND the proof.
- Another rejection-carrier takes the offensive position, rejecting people first. This type of person can cause huge division in both friendships and businesses! Basically, this first strike is most often done through gossip. They take a conversation or situation (like the one mentioned above) and blow it completely out of proportion or dramatize it later, casting themselves in the role of victim — just so people will sympathize or “side” with them. As if playing the victim and having a little group of sympathizers (“a pity party”) will somehow soothe or repair their past rejection.
Do you see how easily this could hurt or destroy relationships and cause major business problems? How far do you think you can go, carrying that rejection? It doesn’t make you money. It won’t get you a promotion. It will not help you attract clients. It cannot solve problems. Rejection simply signals low self-esteem and insecurity – it serves no good purpose in your life.
Listen, it’s time to focus on what is good, noble and pure. You have already been accepted. You do not have to “perform” to be accepted. Instead, focus on who YOU will choose to accept. Focus on what or who are worth the investment of your time. You need to choose to love, accept and encourage. YOU CHOOSE to stand by people, even at their worst. Not to say you should let people repeatedly beat you down, but I guarantee you’re allowing too many small things to destroy relationships.
Our society no longer teaches our kids how to manage emotional pain. And then, they grow up with these issues and pass them on to their kids. Think about the people in your life. Have you ever seen one (or more) of them display these characteristics? DUH! In fact, the majority of those I know, deal with rejection. So, don’t you think you should pass this message around? Spread your encouragement and help your friends and loved ones shed that fear of rejection.
What is required is healing! This isn’t a problem you can avoid and forget… it stays with you. It comes from your past and will have a giant impact on your future and your success. The only way to dissolve the division, the gossip, the past hurt, is to find the ROOT of the problem for true inner healing.
If you’ve been to First Steps To Success, you already know inner healing is a huge event focus (and even more so at Creating A Dynasty). Maybe you feel like, “I have all these issues… I need healing!” And you’re not alone! You know these issues have power over your life and you’ve got to deal with it! I can’t encourage you enough to attend one of our live events and become part of this continually-growing and always encouraging community! My friend, it is TIME for that healing – in your relationships and every area of your life!
I’d love to know what you got out of today’s message. Please leave your comments below! I can’t wait to read them!
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In great faith,
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