The Gift of Vulnerability
When I involve myself in a community of people working together on our journey to success in every aspect of our lives, our roadmap to success has a lot fewer detours than if I was just going it alone.
It’s amazing what happens when you open yourself up and get honest with those closest to you.
One of the scariest things I’ve done in a long, long time is open up about my past struggles with debt, my current WAR ON DEBT, and my future plans for achieving fiscal freedom. In order to do this, I had to have a very serious talk with my very significant other.
I had to be vulnerable and let him know exactly why I was turning down invites to travel and girls’ spa weekends. Why my recipes were being created with more things I already had on hand in my kitchen cabinets, my refrigerator, and both (BOTH!) freezers and not from the meal delivery service I had been using. Why my premium streaming services were no longer available. I thought it would be embarrassing talking about how much FAT I had in my budget. I thought he might be angry or disappointed that I had been so lax with my budgeting and spending. Afterall, he isn’t in this position. How in the world could I be?
Here’s the beautiful thing about vulnerability: my fears were mostly a manifestation of my own making. In other words, my worst fears were things I told myself and in my head. I have been much harder on myself than anyone else has been. And it’s time for me to push past the fear, the shame, and the embarrassment and move forward. As my friend and author Karen Casey says, “each day is a new beginning.”
There will be times when my very significant other and I disagree on budgeting and spending. See, I’m the one with the debt — he’s virtually debt-free and sometimes doesn’t quite understand where I am in my journey to becoming debt-free. But that’s okay. We respect each other enough to hear each other. And when we do disagree, I learned it has more to do with a lack of communication and/or fear than anything else.
So, I put into practice what I learned at First Steps To Success™: I put aside my ego and realize that he, too is a human being doing the best he can. I use the 4 things Dani teaches about how to better communicate and get past disagreements with my loved ones (this is where that gift of vulnerability comes in!):
- Forgive the other person: I’ve learned to let go of anger and past bitterness and I continue to work on that every day.
- Encourage each other: We both work really hard to encourage each other every day. It’s amazing what a few words of encouragement can do for anyone’s emotional well-being and self-esteem!
- Take responsibility and ask for forgiveness: In the past, I’ve been reluctant to take the blame for things I should. That’s where my ego got in the way. And ego can be a relationship AND a budget killer. I continue to work on this, too.
- Build a bridge: Sometimes this can be the hardest step for me. Bringing up the fact that something isn’t quite right within any relationship can be scary. But once that bridge is built, getting across any communication issue is so much easier.
Here’s something else that I continue to learn: together, we’re better. I’ve even made this my mantra for the year. I’ve found when I involve myself in a community of people working together on our journey to success in every aspect of our lives, our roadmap to success has a lot fewer detours than if I was just going it alone.
If you’re interested in joining a community of people with your very best interest at heart, I really encourage you to check out the next First Steps To Success™ event. Whether you’re working on becoming debt-free or you want to learn how you can take your relationships to the next level, this three-day event is like none other. I attended my first event earlier in January. In just three days, I experienced life-changing lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I hope you’ll join me!
Thanks for allowing me to be vulnerable with you!