An emotional bloodbath. That's how Jan Potgieter described his marriage. On the outside, Jan had the life most men dream about.
He was a powerful businessman who traveled all over the world working with big companies like Adidas and AT&T. He had the big house, the fancy cars, the nice suits and the fat paycheck. He had a gorgeous wife who also had a high profile job and two beautiful children.
Sounds like a successful man, right? In reality, his second marriage was on the edge of divorce, he barely saw his kids and the family was spending far more than they actually earned.
“My whole life was about money. I believed that if you had money, the rest would follow. Money would make everything great. Money would fix everything. Turns out, it doesn’t work that way. I was living in a constant battle. Every day was a struggle.”
Ironically, both Jan and his wife, Linda, were communication specialists. But they bickered, argued and had full-blown screaming matches on a daily basis.
“We fought about everything. Like the smallest things. The color of the walls. Both of us were on our second marriage, and between both of our parents, there were ten divorces. Our only reference point really was ‘what not to do.’ But we did the same things anyway.”
The toxic environment at home just drove Jan to spend more time traveling for work.
“Traveling was a better place to be. I didn’t want to spend more time on the battlefield. I would come home and Linda would tell me that I’m disrupting her home life and her time with the kids. Okay then, I’ll go away and travel more.”
Meanwhile, Linda was using alcohol to numb the pain. Their behavior resulted in a toxic cycle of anger, bitterness and loneliness.
“Even when we were out with other folks, you would see the battle. We were two bickering freaking old people. I can imagine it was terrible spending time with us. Picking at each other was just our normal. It was the relationship we always had. We felt like we had to validate ourselves and prove ourselves and defend ourselves all the time.”
Because they were both lacking validation from each other, Jan and Linda continued striving to prove their value through work. Their paychecks were growing, but so was their mountain of debt.
“We did everything you are not supposed to do. The more we made, the more we spent. We had the big fancy house, the expensive cars, the important executive wardrobe, the kids were in private school.
It’s amazing that we managed to spend more than we made, really. We had $260k worth of debt. Most people with that kind of debt, it’s a mortgage.
At least they can sell the house and pay off some of the debt. Ours was not our mortgage.”
Jan and Linda knew they had to make a change, or their lives would continue down a path they didn’t want.
“We knew that whatever we were doing was not delivering the results we wanted. The pain of where we were was the catalyst that made us serious about changing.”
A friend told them about First Steps To Success, a live 3-day training seminar for business, money and relationships. They both decided that the answer was hiding somewhere in the event. They knew that there was nothing to lose and everything to gain by attending.
“We couldn’t afford not to do it. In terms of value, what is the cost of a divorce? Not just money wise, but the emotional cost, the legacy you create for your family, the cost for your children. The divorce process is just all these vultures feeding off of you: lawyers, counselors, daycares. Anything you can pay that would keep you from that is worth its price in gold.”
The beginning of the journey was a little rocky for Jan and Linda. The toxic environment they had created in their life resulted in toxic habits that had to get broken.
“I wasn’t teachable at first. I thought I was so smart and I already knew everything. I thought higher of myself than I ought. But change can only happen when you step up and do something different. And we needed change. After the first event, it kind of felt like it made things worse. Because now you have to deal with these things you’ve been avoiding, you know? It all has to come out.”
However, they continued to apply the new strategies they learned at First Steps To Success and began to experience healing in their marriage. As their marriage healed, they quickly paid off all $260k of their debt and their businesses flourished.
Today, Jan and Linda are completely debt-free, they travel all over the world, they are pursuing their passions without sacrificing their family and their health, and they have a happy, harmonious and passionate marriage.
“You can see all the fluffy marketing stuff, and read the stories in the emails and on the website, but when you finally turn up at an event and actually see the results open up in front of you, it’s incredible. It’s profound. If all you have to wager is $800 bucks on the possibility that everything could change, why wouldn’t you do it?”
Jan and Linda found the results they were after at First Steps To Success. They learned to create the life they wanted, instead of allowing life to happen to them. And instead of continuing to make choices that took them farther and farther away from their destiny.
If you are ready to remove every barrier that is keeping you from having the life that you want, this is your opportunity, friend. There is a door open in front of you, and it is First Steps To Success. It’s time to walk through it. This is your shot. This is your chance. This is your time. Click here and get registered immediately.