April 18, 2013

An Epidemic That Destroys Your Relationships

I’ve encountered a topic that has been coming up so much lately, I felt it was necessary to write you about it. I’ve seen it in business consulting and in […]

I’ve encountered a topic that has been coming up so much lately, I felt it was necessary to write you about it. I’ve seen it in business consulting and in my one-on-one coaching appointments. Let me explain…

There are a lot of people out there who come from broken homes. They have been abandoned, adopted, or faced with people who made promises and didn’t keep them. It’s called rejection. Some people (or actually, most people) carry that rejection still! Even decades later, their past rejection is affecting their lives now, and they are spreading it to others like a rampant disease. And it will sabotage you!

Carrying around rejection or having a fear of rejection is like pressing the self-destruct button on relationships, business partners, and even your finances. Because if you carry rejection, you will actually see circumstances in a very skewed manner. Depending on your personality, it plays out in a couple different ways. See if these scenarios sound familiar:

  1. This type of rejection carrier is looking for proof. They walk into a room looking for rejection! They will actually seek proof that everyone is against them and everyone is somehow out to get them. Here’s a great example…

    Imagine you are in a conversation with a couple of people, discussing a totally non-threatening, casual topic. A person who carries rejection might perceive this topic as verbally threatening or feel like they are being ganged up on. Even though the conversation isn’t about them!

    This same person is the type who will walk into a room and if someone doesn’t immediately smile at them or say "Hi", they think, "Oh, she doesn’t like me," "He is against me," or "I must’ve done something wrong." They’ve actually twisted reality to find the proof.

  2. The rejection carrier tries to reject people first. This type of person can cause huge division among friendships and businesses! Basically, they will try to reject others first. It is most often done through gossip.

    What happens is they will take a conversation or situation like I mentioned above, and blow it out of proportion or dramatize it later so that they are the victim — all so people sympathize or "side" with them. As if being the victim and having a little group of sympathizers ("a pity party") will somehow soothe their past rejection.

Do you see how easily this could hurt or destroy relationships and cause major problems in your business? How far do you think you will get carrying that rejection? It isn’t making you money. It will not get you a promotion. It will not help you attract clients. It will not solve problem. Rejection is a sign of low self-esteem and insecurity – it has no good purpose in your life.

Listen, it’s time to focus on what is good, noble, and pure. You have already been accepted. You do not have to perform to be accepted. Instead, focus on who YOU will choose to accept. Focus on what or who you will invest time into. You need to choose to love, accept, and encourage. YOU CHOOSE to stand by people, even at their worst. Not to say you should let people repeatedly beat you down, but there are so many small things I guarantee you are allowing to destroy relationships.

We come from a society where we do not teach our kids how to manage emotional pain. And then our kids grow up with these issues and pass them on to their kids. Think about the people in your life. Have you ever seen one or more of them display these characteristics? DUH! In fact, the majority of the people I know deal with rejection. So, don’t you think you should pass this message around? Start spreading your encouragement and help your friends and loved ones shed that fear of rejection.

What is required is healing! This isn’t the type of problem you just try to avoid. It stays with you. It comes from your past and it will have a giant impact on your future and your success. The only way to dissolve the division, the gossip, and the past hurt is to find the root of the problem and find true inner healing.

If you have been to First Steps to Success already you know inner healing is a huge focus at these events (and even more so at Creating a Dynasty). Maybe you feel like, “I have all these issues I need healed” but you are not alone! You know these issues have power over your life and you’ve got to deal with it! I can’t encourage you enough to attend one of our live events and become part of this community that is continually growing and encouraging each other!

If today’s message struck a chord with you, I’d love to hear about it. Leave your comments for me below. And remember to print this Daily Fix out! Read it at the dinner table or post it for your coworkers in the lunch room. Share it with people on Facebook or Twitter to help encourage and improve the lives within your circle of influence.

 

In great faith,

 

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