May 31, 2013

How Little Lies Create Big Problems

How do you feel about liars? I think I probably know your answer on that one, cause you and I probably feel the same about them. But what I find […]

How do you feel about liars? I think I probably know your answer on that one, cause you and I probably feel the same about them. But what I find so fascinating is that most people don’t like when people lie, but a lot of people seem to have no problem with telling little white lies. And let me just explore this with you for a minute.

I think it’s safe to assume that most people would say they don’t lie. If asked, most would say, “You can trust me, I don’t lie.” But a lot of those same people would turn around and tell a little white lie. Maybe they were supposed to be somewhere and they weren’t, or they give you a lie as to why they didn’t respond to an email. It could be a little, tiny lie, and they think that’s somehow okay.

You may not realize this, but an excuse is also a well planned little lie. You know the ones I’m talking about – saying you’re going to be somewhere and then you’re not there, so you make up a little story as to why you couldn’t show. I’m sure a few occasions from your past pop into your head.

Throughout the years, I have caught a lot of people in a lot of different lies, both little ones and big ones. In fact, I grew up with pathological liars. There was a benefit to growing up in the home I grew up in, with all the drugs and abuse and lies – I have this discernment that can sniff out untruth.

And I’m here to break some news to you. If you speak untruths – big or small, it all has the same effect. The second someone catches you in a lie your word is less valuable to them. Even if it was just a little mishap.

I want you to think of how you feel when you know someone has told you a little lie. I’m not talking about the big things – I’m talking about the little lies that don’t really even have a point. Just little inconsistencies and exaggerations. Don’t you start to take their stories or promises with a grain of salt? Sometimes you even dig deeper to try to see if something they said is actually the truth.

Let me give you a quick example on how a small lie can make a big difference. Your office manager asks you to run to the store and pick up some supplies. He asks explicitly for the cheapest paper in the store. You run out, but you are in a rush so you just grab whatever and call it good.

When you return your office manager isn’t stupid, he can see right away you grabbed a brand name, so he asks, “This is the cheapest?” and you say, “Yep.”

Because you’re thinking, what’s the big deal? So I paid an extra dollar. The deal isn’t the paper, or even the money. At that moment the big deal is you lied about something so stupid and so unnecessary! This type of action and white lie causes your manager to think less of your word, and less of your character. And when it comes time to pass out promotions that little lie (or more likely you have used many little ones at this point) will hold you back.

If you aren’t faithful with the little things, if you aren’t being truthful about the little things – you will never be trusted with the big things! So maybe you’re in home business or this situation doesn’t really apply to you.

But the effect these white lies have on your relationships is even worse. Man if there is distrust, excuses, and little lies littering your relationship with your spouse, family or even close friends, those relationships are probably strained. And it is likely causing you unneeded stress and conflict. Lies deteriorate your relationships!

Big, small, white, black, exaggerations, excuses, well planned, spur of the moment. Steer clear from any type of lie! You may think what’s the big deal, it isn’t hurting anyone (if you manage to get away with it). But it hurts you in a huge way, spiritually.

Just admit you blew it, you forgot, you fell asleep and remedy the situation. Clear the air and move on! Wouldn’t you appreciate if the people you spoke to didn’t give you some crap excuse or little lie about things? Then it’s time to start living it yourself! And you might want to pass it on.

Print this out right NOW, and start teaching this to your kids immediately. Let them know that the dog ate my homework excuse ain’t cutting it in this household. Your character and your word determine your success in relationships, career and life!

Also, please join me Sunday night at 9pm ET/ 8pm CT. I’m really excited to talk with you and to start our week out right – together!

 

In great faith,

 

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