It’s Not You, It’s Me… Not Just A Classic Breakup Line Anymore
Have you ever been frustrated with people you work or live with? Have you ever been so hurt, you just want to quit? I know how it can be! You […]
Have you ever noticed, people have a tendency to SAY one thing and DO another? That causes so much stress and frustration. This message will equip you to empower people and eliminate that stress!
Good morning! I am so excited about this message for you today… it’s vitally important to every area of your life. If you want to succeed in your business, career, relationships and family, this is a concept you must grasp. It seems simple, but as you read this message, really evaluate yourself and find the areas in your life where you need to apply this.
“Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do.” You’ve heard it a thousand times, yet for some reason, you still get frustrated and upset when people don’t do what they say they’re going to do. You still get fed-up with your spouse or your coworker or your teenage son, and you say, “Ugh, Joe said he was going to do that, and once again, he didn’t!”
When this happens, what’s going on in your heart? You are angry and bitter. You don’t trust the person. You may even wish you could get away with just not talking to, or being around, this person.
I know, you’re saying: “Dani, get out of my head! How do you know what I’m thinking?!” How? I have been there!!! I know exactly what it’s like to be frustrated because people don’t do what they say they will do.
That’s why I’m so grateful I learned this important lesson many years ago. Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do! People will always tell you what they think you want to hear. This is true at the office, at home with your spouse and kids, in your church and everywhere else you go.
About 20 years ago, I was running two companies as well as leading a sales force, and it was so stressful and frustrating! After taking a huge “stupid pill,” I worked 16-18 hours a day, 5-6 days a week, because I assumed this was the path to success for my businesses. But the truth is, I was destroying my life!
Luckily, I met a very successful businessman who poured into me and taught me something to relieve so much stress and frustration. He said, “Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do.”
This was so profound to me, because I was so wrapped up in the promises people made. Things like, “Dani, I want to be your #1 producer! Please teach me and show me!” and “Dani, I’m in it for the long haul!” And I would get suckered into teaching people who said all the right words, yet ended up doing nothing. It broke my heart and left me disappointed, frustrated, bitter and resentful. So, I would bury myself in my work.
But guess what! When you are frustrated, bitter and resentful, you are not productive… at all! You can’t think clearly, you can’t make wise decisions, and get lost in the confusion.
I told this man what was going on and he just looked at me and smiled as he dropped this bomb of wisdom: “Dani, don’t listen to what people say. You have to watch what they do. They say they’ll perform because they want to impress you. They so desperately want to be accepted by you. But in the end, they will do exactly what THEY want to do.”
That was so freeing, but at the same time, incredibly sad. I thought, how terrible people think they have to perform in order to gain acceptance! I already love and accept them, and I love working with them! Another part of me felt like, “Just be HONEST with me! Don’t lie to me! Tell me what YOU want to do, not what you think I want to hear!”
Immediately, I went to a few and apologized, taking full responsibility. Even though I didn’t tell anyone they needed to perform for my acceptance, it was still their perception. So I said, “Please forgive me. I want to make sure I haven’t done or said anything to make you feel like I will not accept you if you do not perform at a certain level. Please forgive me if I have created that perception, because that is not my heart at all. I’d much rather know what you feel you’re capable of doing consistently and help you build confidence, one step at a time, in the right direction.” This built such a beautiful bridge of unity and freedom.
My friend, you cannot listen to what people say. You must watch what they do. People around you, who may be performing just to gain your acceptance… let them know they already have it! Help them start where they are, to build their confidence and develop their skills and they will eventually be able to perform at that higher level.
The truth is, no one performs well under pressure. It may be a good time to have this talk with the people you work or live with. This way, you can count on each other and count on the reality of what can be done in peace, instead of stressing each other out and telling lies to try to impress each other. You don’t want to communicate with other people this way! You want relationships built on truth, whether you are running a business, managing people or even running a charity or a family. Disarm the perception of pressure, and lay a foundation of success.
Here’s a great way to start that conversation – print this out and have a discussion at work with your employees or business partners, or have a discussion with your family around the dinner table tonight. You can also pass it along through email, or post this link on Facebook and Twitter. Let’s get The Daily Fix today out to the people we care about, so we can help them succeed in their business, career and personal life. And, be sure to let me know how it goes, in the comments below!
Don’t forget to tune in to The Dani Johnson Show for more wisdom, tips and strategies to improve your life! You can find the show on your TV and radio and please remember you can always stream today’s show right here on our website.
In great faith,
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