Have you ever had a disagreement with a coworker? A misunderstanding with your boss? An argument with your spouse or your kids? We’ve all been there. Everyone knows what it’s like to have a conflict arise within a company or family. A lot of times we just push aside those conflicts, as we move on with our lives.
Sometimes these conflicts are nothing more than small, insignificant issues you never confronted, so they just continue to build until you can’t stand it anymore. Before you know it, your blood pressure is through the roof, your patience and understanding for the other person is non-existent, you’re stressed and frustrated… and you may not even know why!
That’s why today’s content is so important, with the potential to help you in every area of your life. Because here’s the reality – conflicts happen. Disagreements, misunderstandings and arguments happen all the time both at home and in the workplace.
Conflicts can ruin relationships, break trust, cause stress and keep you stuck in a rut. They can cause you to lose clients, business or even your job. That’s why you must learn how to effectively confront issues arising in your everyday life.
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Most people try to hide their issues or even run from them. They avoid talking to the other person or simply ignore the conflict, pretending it doesn’t exist. But I’m here to tell you, ignoring these things does not make them go away! Even small, insignificant conflicts can become a big hairy mess if you do not confront them and take care of it.
For a lot of people – I’d even say most people – dealing with conflicts can be very uncomfortable. You may be someone who is afraid to bring up the issue to avoid stepping on anyone’s toes. Or maybe you’re the one who is so angry about the issue, you’re not able to sleep at night and you have this ugly, hateful anger brewing inside of you every time you think about the situation or the person. Or maybe you simply hate confrontation and would rather just let the issue go than to deal with it.
But here’s the truth about confronting conflicts: when you confront the issue, you position yourself for promotion! You set yourself up as a true leader in your home, in your workplace or in your community. It may not be comfortable, but it is so necessary!
That’s why I want to share a few steps to make conflict resolution simple and completely take out the guesswork! And the best part is, this process works with your boss, employees, coworkers, clients, business partners, friends, spouse and kids.
First, you have to understand, you are not confronting the issue or the conflict so you can call out the other person’s faults or drag them through the mud. It’s not so you can point out all of their flaws and everything you don’t like about that person. (If that is your intention, then you and I need to have a little talk…)
The goal here is restoration and unity! The whole reason for confronting the issue is to clear the air, restore the relationship and create unity with the other person involved.
You must realize you and this person actually have the same goals. You both want to see your team, company or family succeed. But this conflict prevents both of you from reaching your mutual goal. This conflict is destroying unity.
There are 4 very simple steps I want to share with you. These are the steps I have used when conflicts arise in my own life and in my own relationships. I have taught my clients to use these steps, and bottom line, they get results!
- Forgive: Before you even have the conversation where you will confront the issue, make sure your heart is clean. Make sure you are not holding onto any anger or bitterness toward that person.
- Encourage: Find some encouraging words to share with this person. List their strengths based on what they think they do well! For example, if you have to confront an issue at work, you might say something like, “You are an amazing and valuable asset to this company. I appreciate the way you are so dependable and you always get things done on time. Thank you for always giving it your best shot. I really appreciate that about you.”
- Take responsibility: Have you dishonored the person in any way? Have you judged them, falsely accused them lied to – or about – them, taken your anger out on them, gossiped about them? Are you harboring anger and bitterness toward them? Ask for forgiveness.
- Build a bridge: “I’ve noticed there has been some tension between us. I know we both have the same goal – to see this team succeed. How can I communicate with you in an effective way? What can I do to help this team reach our goal? What can I do to help you? What can I do to help you and I work together better?”
Throughout this entire process, be sure to keep your goal in the forefront of your mind. Do everything in honor! Restoration and unity will eliminate stress and tension from your relationships. It will help to build trust with those around you. It will cause your influence to increase and set you apart as a leader.
You and I both know how painful conflicts can be, especially when they happen between people we love and care about. I’m sure you’ve seen conflicts tear families and companies apart. You’ve heard stories from your friends, family and coworkers about issues they are dealing with right now. You’ve heard the desperation in their voices when they say, “I just don’t know what to do anymore! So-and-so is driving me crazy! I can’t stand to be around them!” You may even be in a situation like that right now.
That’s why it’s so important you and I work together to spread today’s message. Can you imagine if everyone in your family, your office and your community had access to these simple steps? Just picture the harmony and the peace you would experience! And when there is harmony in a home, families thrive. When there is harmony in a company, productivity and profits explode. Wherever there is harmony, people succeed! So please share this message today… post it on Facebook and Twitter. Consider printing it to hand to your family, coworkers and even your clients!
Then please let me know what you thought about The Daily Fix today. Are you experiencing conflict right now? Have you ever used these steps to deal with conflicts? Leave your comments below. I read them every day and really love hearing what you have to say.
Thank you for being someone who is focused on making this world a better place. Thank you for using your influence to help others, to groom your family for success and to bring amazing success to your team. I appreciate you and am excited to hear your success story!
In great faith,
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